There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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