I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize