We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
