he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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