You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize