He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
