Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
