Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
