I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
