what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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