And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
