Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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