Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
