Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
