i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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