I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This girl is more easily done than said...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
