Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
