I heard we made out
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize