There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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