i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
