he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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