haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
