Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
