You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
