he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
