you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
