i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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