you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
