I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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