I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
