i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
