We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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