I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
