Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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