So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
