At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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