I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
