We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize