just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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