ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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