Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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