She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
