I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
