ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
