Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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