I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
