she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
