Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
