Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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