so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
