Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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