sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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