Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
