Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Holy sore nipples Batman
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
did i just pee glitter
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
