We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
