Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
