My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
