the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I need a beard to bite.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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