Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
