Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
