the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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