I wanna bring you to show and tell
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
