guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
