I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
