i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
